Healthy relationships make us happy and healthy
Findings from the longest study on happiness
Harvard Study of Adult Development is the longest ongoing study, started in 1938, to understand the levers of happiness. The original study had 724 men - 268 from Harvard classes and 456 from poor Boston neighborhoods. The program director gave a TEDx talk in 20161 and a follow-up in 2023.
They are continuing the study following close to 2000 children in what they call the 2nd generation study2.
Relationships relationships relationships
The key learning from the study is that good relationships make us happy and healthy. These social connections can fall into any of the following buckets
Family
Friends and
Community
Quality beats quantity
The quality of the relationship matters more than the quantity.
Good relationship is an elixir of health
Good relationships protect the body and the brain. People with healthy relationships showed slower brain deterioration.
Stranger, not Danger
Saying hi to a stranger will make you happy. In a study, half the group was asked to strike up a conversation, while the other group followed their typical routine. The first group was uncomfortable with the ask but ended up being happier in the end.
Action items
Waldinger proposes a couple of action items to strengthen your relationships
More people time, less screen time
Liven up stale relationships - do different things together
Reach out to people that fell out of touch
Practice striking up a conversation with strangers. You will get better at it.
Closing thoughts
We had looked at the Health Work Play Love framework before. Now we know which of the 4 is the first among equals.
Ted Gioia wrote about his 6 spheres of life3. It is very similar to the above framework. Gioia encourages all of us to have a version of it - define what is important so that we do not lose focus on it.
which went viral - 25 million views and counting. There is a case for sharing your work in public here.
I channeled my inner Robert Caro and did a little bit of research. The study’s website is underwhelming but the news section is impressive. Waldinger has a book, The Good Life, which is on my to-read list.
It is a good read. The post on progress is good too.